What are women looking for in a mentor today?
A friend. Authenticity. A relationship based
on grace. Help in how to be a better wife, daughter, friend, mother,
coworker. Guidance on time management. Practical advice on how to study
the Bible. Titus 2:3–5 tells us that mentoring is how life skills are
passed down generation to generation. It allows a woman who might not
have learned life skills from her family of origin to acquire them
through the body of Christ.
Does every woman need a mentor?
Every woman would benefit from a mentor.
Most women have at least one mentor, whether they recognize it as a
mentor relationship or not. As relational beings, we seek input and
affirmation from other women in our lives. We may admire a woman’s
marriage and want to know her “secret.” Or we may value someone’s
feedback on a particular problem and seek her advice in a crisis.
How do I know if I’m ready to be a mentor?
If you are a Christian, then you are ready. The question is not, “Am I
ready?” The question is, “Who around me is ready to be mentored?” A
mentor only has to be one step ahead of the mentee, not a seminary
graduate or an expert on life.
How do I start mentoring?
First, tell God your desire to mentor. Then inform your pastor that you
are available to mentor another woman. God will show you who—the women
you will end up mentoring are most likely already in your life. Start
where your passions are. If your passion is praying, you can meet to
pray with someone. If your passion is sharing what you’re learning in
the Bible, you may consider doing a study with another woman.
Why is mentoring so powerful?
Studies have scientifically proven the value of relationships between
women. An actual therapeutic, biochemical change occurs when women talk
together. Their stress and adrenaline decrease and healthy hormones
increase. Women relax in the presence of other women. Make yourself
available to encourage and walk beside another woman. You can make a
life-changing difference in another woman’s life.
Men—Being and Becoming a Leader of Faith
Men—Find out how being a mentor can
benefit yourself and others!
Imagine a perfect world with perfect dads. A father who loved you
unconditionally, believed in you fiercely, and was willing to work with
you tirelessly. Such a dad would listen attentively, teach patiently and
correct firmly but gently. What would it be like to have such a
stabilizing masculine presence in your life? A concerned role model,
close at hand whenever you needed him. Your very own adviser,
instructor, coach and confidant. Oh, and in that perfect world you’d
also have godly granddads and uncles deeply involved in your life. Well,
here’s a news flash! We don’t live in a perfect world and most of us
have less-than-perfect role models. Which presents us with a few
options. We can be blamers and whiners (the weak route—don’t go there).
We can get mad and stay mad at the world (good for some therapist’s cash
flow; not-so-good for you and your family). We can try to figure life
out on our own (not recommended). Or we can find a mentor.
A mentor is a wiser
guide who shows you the ropes. He has experienced the storms and battles
of life, and lived to tell about it. A mentor doesn’t “have it all
together”—who in the world fits that description other than Jesus? But
he is committed to living a God-honoring life. Most important, a
mentor is willing to pass on whatever insights and skills he’s acquired
in life. He is a man who points you in the right direction, walks with
you down the path, and helps you become the man God created you to be.
Luke Skywalker had
Yoda. The Karate Kid had Mr. Miyagi. Joshua had Moses. Timothy had the
apostle Paul. Who do you have? Who is in your corner, pulling for
you, challenging you, helping you become the best you can be?
If you don’t have
such an adviser, we recommend these steps:
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First,
pray. Ask God to bring a mature Christian into your life who would be
willing to invest in your life. This is a prayer God likes to answer,
because mentoring is close to his heart (see Exodus 18; Matthew
4:18-22; 2 Timothy 2:1-2; Titus 2:1-8).
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Second,
ask your pastor to pair you up with a man—an elder, deacon, or small
group leader—who has a passion for developing other men. If your
church has a mentoring or discipleship program, get involved.
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Third,
become a sponge. Observe your mentor and other godly men you know.
Notice the way they live, how they treat people, and the kinds of
decisions they make. Ask a million questions. Take mental notes.
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Fourth,
commit to mentoring someone else. Believe it or not, there are
younger men who know less than you! Our great faith and God’s ideals
for manhood must be passed on.
We may not live
in a perfect world, and this may not be a foolproof plan, but try it.
With a wise mentor on one side and someone you can mentor on the other,
you will grow spiritually like never before. You’ll see God do amazing
things in and through your life.
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Apply it
